However having visitors takes its toll. You are already sleep deprived and yet you feel obliged to entertain, feed and water the visitors so they feel welcome and will come again. Then they leave, and you are left with another pile of dishes to wash (no dishwasher in this household, sadly) and a hole in the pantry that needs to be refilled. And you are tired, oh so tired.
I think I had only one visitor who offered to do some housework. I said she could hang out my sheets on the line, and afterwards she folded a small basket of laundry, unprompted. You can't really say "Hell yes! Can you please dust, vacuum, mop the floor, and clean the bathroom and toilet while you are at it? Thanks so much!" while you are sitting on your ass eating a biscuit.
This same visitor then asked if I would like a glass of water while I was breastfeeding. She even made me a cup of tea. What a doll! These are the extra nice kind of visitors. It's very refreshing.
I wouldn't expect everyone to offer to do my housework. It is tedious enough doing your own, so why would you ever offer to do someone else's! And when visiting someone with a new baby, it doesn't really come up when you are having a nice time catching up, having cuddles and enjoying the new bub. It just doesn't - I totally get it!
But for future reference, when visiting a friend or family member with a new baby, do something useful while you are there. Even if you make her a cup of tea, or bring some sweets (better yet dinner) it all helps. If there is a pile of dishes in the sink - wash them (or unpack and stack the dishwasher). If there is a load of laundry that needs drying, hang it out. Just these few small gestures will help a new mum feel a little more supported and in control, when so much of their life at the point is chaotic.
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